That doesn’t even make sense! Aren’t I supposed to be all “More Women Speaking”?!? Well yes. Here’s the thing – after reading a lot of the abstracts, seeing how many people submitted, and knowing mine was kinda niche AND that I had rushed my general session submission- I realized it shouldn’t have made the cut.
There I said it.
At some point I even did some back of the napkin math and realized purely from an odds standpoint (all other things being equal), I had about an 8%-11% chance of being selected. After reading a lot of abstracts I realized that if I HAD been selected, then that would have meant I was selected more because I was a woman, and not because it was a submission that rose to the top. And that is DEFINATELY not what I would want. Yea, yea, I realize that some of this is arbitrary because it’s based on different volunteers’ opinions, but I still would have felt a bit sad if mine had made it after reading others, and I would have thought my gender played a role.
You see, a lot of my younger years I was sometimes told I was selected for things because I was a woman. Often by people not even in my field. In one case, by a [male] friend of mine! People that had never worked with me and didn’t have my bosses handy to tell them different. And I have no qualms telling you that my bosses would. Case in point: my last boss CC’d me on an email he sent to another person touting me as “The Purple Unicorn they were looking for”, without telling me beforehand. (This was after I left the company and ironically, I wasn’t even looking for a new position.)
Being a Woman In Technology doesn’t mean I want my voice risen above others. That would imply that we care about gender over quality. Even worse – it would imply that there isn’t enough quality women voices, and that simply is not true. (I’d argue that it is often the opposite problem with more average men in the industry – simply based on numbers.) Plainly put, I want our industry to figure out WHY it’s difficult to get more women speakers and address it from that problem. Heck, lets tackle why so many of us leave IT and how to put more women in the pipeline while we are at it. Wait, I have a whole list of things if you really want to get me going…
But back to the main topic: I wasn’t selected for PASS and that’s how it should be. Remember how I said I rushed my general submission and it was kinda niche? Turns out there are 2 similar sessions that made it and though they are not the exact same as mine, they are with same core technologies and are less niche then my submission. And with better abstracts. One is being presented by a woman and one by another under-represented group. I’ll be sure to attend.
Admitting this is my first T-SQL Tuesday contribution seems a bit weird for me to write. I mean I’ve been in this industry over 20 years. (Ok, maybe 25 is more accurate.) I’ve been in the sql community for well over a decade.
But when one of my favorite authors, #sqlfamily rockstar, and all-around awesome human being Louis Davidson, posted on it earlier this month, I was intrigued. He wanted us to answer the question: What advice do you wish Current You could go back and give past you as you were starting your first data platform job?
At first I was giddy about all the things I could write about. But the more I thought about it, the harder it became. Do I write from a technical standpoint? Process? Personal? And what about the Butterfly effect? If Current Me gave first data platform me advice, couldn’t that completely alter where I am now in all aspects? Clearly I was going down a rabbit hole, which explains why I am writing this now on Tuesday evening at 11:33 PM. (Apologies in advance for any typos.)
So on some unexpected errands I had today, I had a little downtime and pulled out my little notepad to make a list. Immediately I saw a problem that I hadn’t even considered: things that I hold to be very important to me today, I couldn’t have heeded that advice 20+ (25) years ago. Things I take for granted and can easily say or do today, as a young women in tech I couldn’t do many years ago. Or at least “I” didn’t feel like I could.
“Speak up for yourself”. “A company won’t love you back – so outside of work hours only give them what you want to take away from your family or have a genuine interest in doing.” “Delegate more” “Don’t knowledge hoard.” “Don’t be afraid to admit when you don’t know something.”
And while each of these things are spot on, when I was a single mom with a mortgage living pay check to pay check and had to a.) make myself invaluable and b.) make myself likable/agreeable/whatever-else-you-want-to-call-it, those things often conflicted with real life. Things are not always as easy as they sound. Especially as a woman. The times I didn’t do both a and b, I’d get into trouble.
Going no where with any of those things, I moved to looking at things from a technical perspective. That wasn’t helpful either; I’ve always followed where the jobs were and most of my jobs only resembled each other because “data” was in the name. That’s given me a pretty wide (if not always deep) range of experience. My ADHD loves it. I’ve had a lifetime of “learn this new thing really fast” and its been fantastic.
Striking both personal and technical things off my list (ok fine, I didn’t have anything technical on my list- though my calibre library will call me a liar on that one), I guess I am left with Process. Which it a good thing because I have about 4, no 3 minutes until the midnight bell tolls. Here it goes: “Use Checklists as often as you can” and “Learn and Use Value / Effort matrixes” (Is that even allowed to be plural?) Oh yea, and don’t sweat the typos. They’ll throw you under the bus for time – every time.
Let me start this post saying I 100% empathize with the difficulties women and other underrepresented groups face with speaking. I won’t go into a dissertation on the multitude of whys in this post – except to say for me, a big part really boils down to time. And how little I often have.
But… I also know the importance of being represented. And as a neurodiverse woman that has grown up with interests where I was often the minority – I have a lifetime of frustration with having to learn things mostly from a man’s POV. That’s not to say that it doesn’t have value – it does! Tons! But lots of examples used in training things DO. NOT. EXCITE. ME. And my very unscientific polling of people shows that many do not even understand why having diversity and things that excite others, is important; even just from the perspective of getting a diverse pipeline in the IT industry.
All this to say: I run a Microsoft Data Platform user group and I want to hear your voice. I want you to know your voice is important to hear.I want you to know your voice is needed. It’s important for other women, other underrepresented groups, and yes, even for men.
That’s the easy part: saying tech needs you to speak. Across the board from my user group and with other user groups/conferences, we are seeing a serious drop in women speakers. The hard part is figuring out the logistics. Because as much as I can spout my stories all day of why it is difficult for me, I’ll bet there are 100s of reasons I haven’t considered for others. If we don’t know all the reasons, then it’s difficult to come up with solutions. So first – I invite you to tell me your reason.
Second, I realize that sometimes it has to do with confidence or inexperience. Women in tech in particular, tend to be perfectionists IME, so to speak can be a bit daunting. If that’s the case, then please please please consider applying to New Stars of Data. Why would you apply to speak if you have confidence issues or inexperience??? Because the NSoD program will assign you a mentor that will help you as much or as little as you want to overcome any real or perceived issue you may have with your abilities. (Hint: women tend to underestimate their capabilities, while men overestimate.)
Third: Reach out to me on how I can best get you an opportunity speak. This includes all people that fall into underrepresented groups. (I realize I often refer to women specifically, but this applies to all that fit in this category.)
Want to find an in-person group? I will assist to help you find one.
Want to speak virtually? I’ve got you covered.
Don’t have the schedule to do either live? We can get you up on YouTube with something you record on your time.
Want to blog about something, but don’t want to do the whole “set up a blog thing?” I got you covered on that as well.
Want to have a group of women in tech to ping ideas off of? Yep. You guessed it. I know some people.
Want help with grammar? Ok. You’ve got me on that one. It’s not my strength.
HAVE I INTERESTED YOU EVEN A LITTLE??? Maybe just to start a conversation? Or maybe you want to join me in coming up with ways to help get more diversity in speaking? Ping me!
How do you contact me? That’s an easy one too: hit me up on linkedIn or X with a quick note. And if it takes me a little bit to get back to you, then know I’m in the same boat too, but I WILL get back to you.
Earlier this year, meetup sent their obligatory email about a group I was in needing a new organizer. Like most people during COVID, I joined a lot of online meetup groups after most groups moved their sessions online. The Kansas City SQL Server User Group (#KCSSUG) was no different and fast forward to 2023, one-by-one user groups were going back to in-person events.
Look, I get it. Lots of folks wanted to go back to the physical meetings to have that in-person interaction. But that option is not always available to people, and in particular, it often isn’t available to under represented groups for a myriad of reasons. I will let you do your own homework on why that is, but I can briefly speak to my experiences as a WIT. (Hmmmm, maybe that entire subject matter would make a good blog post all on it’s own.) I won’t even address it from a neurodiverse perspective.
A WIT Perspective
Here is a quick summary of my experience with it as a WIT: 25+ years ago, as a single mom, traveling to events wasn’t even an option. I was a young mother and my parents still were in the workforce and unable to take time off to babysit for me to go to a conference (though weekends were ok). Never mind school schedules. And even though I was in IT, money was pretty tight – so traveling costs were pretty prohibitive for me. (I once had to borrow money to buy basic groceries for a week.) None of my companies ever even considered paying for me to travel to a conference (or even attend a local conference), and I would have had to use PTO (personal time off – aka: sick /vacation time) to attend. If you are a parent, you know that PTO can often be eaten up by young children for NON vacation reasons and there simply was no room for me to chance it. Otherwise I might get docked pay and my review may come back that I had too many absences. Yes, folks, that’s how it is sometimes.
Think I’m exaggerating? Consider this: even though I was an organizer for SQL Saturday in Atlanta for 8 years, and I’ve been in the industry for over 25 years, last year was the first year I have ever traveled to a conference outside my local area that wasn’t on a weekend or that a vacation wasn’t planned around (PASS Data Community Summit 2022 in case you were wondering).* Even as an organizer, I used PTO to volunteer for our Atlanta Friday pre-con sessions. And I’m a seasoned IT Professional.
Random AI generated image of a seasoned female IT worker because I was curious after I typed that phrase.
*(All thanks to the wonderful company I currently work for: Kent Corporation. I finally work for a company that understands the importance of conferences and upskilling employees. There’s a reason they’ve won a ton of employee satisfaction awards. )
Online Options
All of this to build up to why I decided to step up as the organizer of the Kansas City SQL Server User Group: to continue to have online options for those that may need it. Be it speakers, or members, or anyone that wants to catch it on our YouTube channel. Not all of our sessions are recorded, for various reasons (including my first event where something messed up with the recording), but the majority are.
Our group isn’t the only group doing this, so I’m not doing anything ground breaking here: there are still plenty of great user groups and conferences that either have real-time online options or recorded ones – which is AWESOME. Last year SQLBits was in Wales and I was a online speaker for that conference. I wouldn’t have been able to speak at that one if they didn’t have the hybrid option and I’m forever grateful.(Side note: not only did I have many people join live online, but Andy Yun of #SQLFamily took pics for me of the in-person view. SQLBits even posted the videos a few months later; here’s mine: Migrating data solutions to the cloud – a checklist.) That said, as I was looking through my emails at the beginning of the summer, I saw the number of online options getting smaller and smaller.
Thinking of that, I decided to take action and become the organizer for the KCSSUG, and keep it virtual. I’m a strong believer that virtual options help play a role in DEI, and instead of complaining about the diminishing options, I could at least help in that area. All of this to say: now I’m officially the organizer for the (Virtual) Kansas City SQL Server Group.
Info About Our Group
Interested in seeing some of our sessions? We loosely follow a 2x a month schedule:
1st Tuesday of the Month in the early evening (5:45 PM CDT).
2nd Thursday of the Month as a Lunch and Learn (12 PM CDT).
The 2 different times allow us to cover people that can join in the evening and people that can do lunch and learns. It also allows us to include people in some additional time zones outside the US. Plus, it helps me not take up additional family time. As mentioned, we also have a YouTube channel that we post most of our events to afterwards. (Some quicker than others because – yea – my ADHD).
We occasionally have an additional session for guest spots with both regular speakers as well as speakers from Ben Weissman and Willaim Durkin‘s New Stars of Data. I’m particularly excited about giving new speakers an additional platform to gain experience and not just because #NSoD is where I got my start. Ok maybe I’m a little partial to them because I know all they do to help new speakers perform their best with their resources, mentors, and various volunteers that do all their magic.
Who are the amazing speakers we’ve hosted in the last 5 months?
And we have many more in the works for 2024 as well as new things coming down the line! Around February, we will have a new call for speakers to fill our remaining spots, so stay tuned (and submit!) If you’d like to volunteer to help host or join our team – feel free to reach out to me on linkedin or twitter.
Ok, so that’s it. Even I think this falls in the category TLDR, but I’ve haven’t written in awhile (at least not completed one, technically I’ve written a ton), so you get this big gush in one go. If you’ve made it this far – hope to see you soon (in-person AND online)!
As usual, it’s been a busy few week at my job and in my personal life, so I’ll try and make this short an sweet.
Weekly Wrap up (technically from the last 2 weeks):
Certification update
WITspiration
Women don’t owe you an explanation <rant>
DPWIT-DEI Mental Health and Wellness Day
Part 1 of blog series: Migrating data solutions to the cloud – a checklist
Favorite Items of the Week in the Wild
Certification Update
Back at the end of January I did a Microsoft Virtual Training Day for Azure Fundamentals because I remembered that if you did the Virtual Training Day, that some of the VTD sessions offer a free certification test if you take it in under 90 days. So I signed up thinking it would force myself to get it done and have a clock ticking. There was no reason for me not to take the test at that point: Class is free, test is free, can take both the class and test during work and online (a big deal because my kids could interrupt during the test otherwise, which is not allowed). I even told myself “I’ll put it just under 90 days out so I have chance to study”. (HAHAAHHA The lies we tell ourselves.)
The test is pretty broad and there are a few sections that I didn’t have experience in. Truth be told, I was at work so I frequently got interrupted during the VTD, but still got a lot of information from it. Even for the things I knew, but don’t necessarily use in my area, it was good reinforcement. I highly recommend using VTDs and other free resources such as Microsoft Learn, as part of your cert training strategy.
Long story short, I took the VTD, forgot about it, and then realized test day was upon me. Freaked out, studied additionally for a few days, and lo-and-behold passed. Yes there were a few questions that had stuff that was new to me, but it was a lot easier than I had put in my mind.
Long story short – sometimes it’s a good idea to take the plunge. Even if you don’t think you are ready. (That’s kinda my thing). I had a bunch of things going on that day that blew up on me, so I really didn’t mention it at all publicly. I’m trying to get better at announcing my accomplishments – so there you go.
WITspiration
Meanwhile we’ve begun our work with WITspiration! I met with all the members awhile back and today I had my first meeting with my Circle. SUPER excited to be in a circle with such amazing women! I forgot to ask permission if I can post their names, so will wait until I get thumbs up for that. But I think we are going to create amazing things while having a sound board for each other for all things. Stay tuned for more information and I will try and remember to tag it for easy filtering.
Women don’t owe you an explanation
<begin rant>
We interrupt this regular broadcasting to explain YET AGAIN that women don’t owe you an explanation. Recently a male reached out to me with a sentence that started along the lines of “EXPLAIN YOURSELF” in a DM. It was not about anything technical and quite frankly a little bit of common sense or googling and the person could have figured it out. It was not someone I know, but it was someone many in our #SQL community know. I’m not going to call the person out, but if you are reading this: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO ASK ME THAT AND/OR DEMAND I TELL YOU ANYTHING PERSONAL ABOUT MYSELF.
I didn’t reply because quite frankly I was in shock, than I checked with a few friends to verify that it was way out of line (it was, of course), and then I had other bombs drop on me that day that made the situation pale in comparison. Now in hindsight I wanted to make sure to call it out here because whether you are THAT guy or just a GUY LIKE THAT – I want you to know never, never ever, never ever ever, reach out to some woman you don’t know asking her to explain anything that is none of your damn business. And if you are starting a sentence off with “EXPLAIN” and it has nothing to do with a technical thing – I can assure you – it’s none of your damn business.
Honored to be speaking again for the Data Platform Women In Technology group and even more honored when I look at the great speakers lined up. Normally I don’t speak on non-technical things too often and this is my first session ever talking about Neurodiversity, so it will probably be way different than other sessions you have seen me speak on. If you are used to operating with 1000x things at a time – block off 11:30 AM CDT on your calendar and check it out (or many of the other GREAT sessions). Sign up here.
Part 1 of blog series: Migrating data solutions to the cloud – a checklist
Last, but not least, – Part 1 of 9 (yes 9) is out in case you missed it. This is the none technical, but very necessary items you need to make sure you do when planning a migration. It reviews key items you need to do for Pre-Planning and Evaluation. Next week I will push out Part 2: Discovery.
Favorite Items of the Week in the Wild
None.
Well, it’s not that there aren’t any, I just need to get this post out. I know, I know, I told you I would add it with each wrap-up, but I’m not this week and we are all going to just have to deal with it.
How bout this: I turned 51 on Wednesday, and as I’ve posted elsewhere: Being the same age as old people is weird, but I’m hanging in there.
Weekly Wrap Up:
New Stars Of Data shoutout
SQLBits 2023 Reflections
Planned upcoming content and activities
Favorite Items of the Week in the Wild
Bit behind on the blog, but I’ve made a couple of tiny improvements recently. My initial idea with the blog was “just get it up as quickly as possible” with little regards to formatting and functionality (beside just reading a post). If I’m honest, these are the things that have slowed me down in prior attempts to get content out there: gold plating. Now that it’s been up for awhile, I did some quick edits on the back end so you can at least jump to specific categories, tags, or do an easy follow. It’s still bare-bones, but right now getting more content out is my goal for the spring.
Weekly Wrap Up: New Stars Of Data shoutout SQLBits 2023 Reflections Planned upcoming content and activities Favorite Items of the Week in the Wild
New Stars of Data shoutout
This is super long overdue, but my ADHD makes me procrastinate often and things fall by the wayside. Not a great excuse, but I’ll own it.
First off, if you don’t know about New Stars of Data (run by Ben Weissman and William Durkin) and you love learning all things data virtually – then please take a gander. New Stars of Data is a fantastic program to get new speakers a chance to get out there. Speakers get one on one mentoring every step of the way and the program helps new speakers deliver great content and get them on the road to speaking. How do I know? That’s where I started! (So yes I have a lot of love and bias towards the program).
The next event is May 12, 2023 and I’m really excited about the line-up. Please consider joining the event not only to get great content, but to support and encourage new speakers. If you are unable to attend the event (or a particular session), then NSOD posts the videos later to the DataGrillin youtube page. Plus – if you are really serious about wanting to get more women into speaking – this is a part of it. After I spoke at NSOD, several user groups reached out to me to keep the ball rolling. All which resulted in my next topic: SQLBits 2023.
SQLBits 2023 Reflections
Confession time: when I submitted to SQLBits last year, I didn’t really expect my session be accepted. I had started a new job Dec 2021 after a long hiatus and I stopped speaking so I could focus on getting where I wanted to be for my new company. Seeing the call for speakers for SQLBits, I promised myself I’d at least submit and choose a topic that I thought would also be great for my company. Not knowing if I’d be able to travel, I submitted to do a virtual session, which I knew there were limited spots available
And then it was accepted.
Here is where I will give a tiny bit of advise: As soon as you are accepted – start working on your presentation. You have no idea what will come down the pipeline to derail you. Everything that could throw my schedule out the window – did. You have been warned: what you do with that knowledge is up to you.
Now a few weeks after the event, I can comfortably say it was incredible. Not just as a speaker – (WHICH WAS AMAZING), but also as an attendee. Even as a virtual speaker/attendee. While I did miss the interaction and fun at the actual location – the level of detail that was provided every step of the way was beyond my expectations. I still felt a part of the event (and yes even dressed up for my session!).
I can not express how much I appreciate the opportunity not only to speak at such a great event, but to do so virtually. As a woman in tech with children – traveling has been a great barrier for me and is a large part of what prevented me from speaking in earlier years. So thank you Organizers of SQLBits for allowing this option – I know it comes at great cost and work for organizers and volunteers. By having this option, it helps me represent women in the community and still be a part of something really special. The experience was one I will never forget, and while traveling overseas to present was never on my list prior – it is a new goal for me for future years.
Planned Upcoming Content and Activities
While I’m high off of speaking (and getting good reviews!) from SQL Bits, I’ve gone ahead and submitted sessions for a few other events and I’m considering another large one. That one is in person, so I’m still waffling a bit on it. More about that in a future post. Hopefully you’ll see lots more of me speaking this year. My main issue (besides traveling) is that I have so many ideas and I always want to do THE NEXT THING, so I haven’t really refined the art of reusing a session. And for me, creating new content is a really laborious process. Hopefully as I do it more, I’ll figure out how to get better at that.
That said, my slides for SQLBits session “Migrating data solutions to the cloud – a checklist” should be available soon through the SQLBits website. (The holdup is me.) An interesting thing I learned when creating my session was I had way too much content. Probably about 4 hours worth. And I had to go back and chop a lot out. So my goal over the next few months is to transfer that chopping into a series of blog posts. If you made the session – first-off THANK YOU – and secondly, the blog posts will be a more in depth coverage of each section I went over. Expect a lot more technical aspects in certain sections.
Finally, I’ve got 2 new other initiatives I’m working on that are specific to women in tech. They are both in the beginning phase so I can’t go into details on one of them, but the other one is Tracy Boggiano and Deborah Melkin‘s women’s mentoring program: Witspiration! For all the ups and downs of being a woman in tech, I have to say that it has made such an incredible difference in my life and I want to share that with others. From a kid that had so much going against her, being a woman in tech has given me opportunities that I would have never have had otherwise. Expect to hear more of about that in the future.
Favorite Items of the Week in the Wild
Yesterday I was thinking about this as a routine feature on this blog that includes both fun things and technical stuff, but for this week it’s only going to include 2 items – FUN STUFF. Mostly because I just started saving things late yesterday and also because I’ve far surpassed the time block I gave myself for today’s post.
Data Work Mom 